Midweek Push

Wednesday, November 09, 2011


"Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7)

A Wreck

I'm an emotional wreck ---- on a clear highway
My tears fuel my poems
I ruin all my relationships
Crying my way through turmoil
I make people turn their backs on me
I can't be trusted
I tell secrets ---- Don't waste your time with me
I'm the bad news the bearer brings
I'm a spiritual mess
---- with knots in my stomach and a frog in my throat
I don't clap on "if you're happy and you know it," cause I'm not
I let satan "run that" in my life
I couldn't be more pitiful than I am right now
I'm ashamed to show my face
an emotional wreck ---- but I see clearly what I'm doing
Skid marks on my knees
My back is up against the wall
---- because I put it there
I couldn't raise my spirits with a forklift
and I would hurt you if you tried
I make it hard for anyone to love me
No one even likes me
I don't like myself
The pit calls my name and I answer every time
"here I am, send me" to the pit
I'm the misery that loves company
I'm the one they told you to stay away from

True Story. These are words that I spoke to myself. Words that I placed on paper and believed about myself…the child of God. This is the story that comes from that place deep within that no one, not even me, wants to share. A place called emotional wreck… Satan knows just how to use a child of God that isn't strong, or even one that thinks she is, yet doesn't act like it. He had me thinking, "I could not love" and "I would not be loved." He made me believe that I could never do anything right. I would sit in my closet and cry, praying to find peace from the emotional wreckage I was feeling. My human heart was breaking, but my spiritual heart was seeking God.

For a while, I believed that fool (satan), because I had forgotten who I was. I had forgotten to look to my Maker who knew why I was going through such a hard time in my life. I felt broken, but He was building me; I felt useless, but He was using me. My self-esteem was lower than an ant on a curb. But I wasn't alone. He saw me, when my mirror reflected nothing. He saw me, when I didn't think I existed. The Lord saw me and stepped into my life.

Satan wants us to be emotional wrecks, unable to make godly decisions and unable to function (James 1:8) properly for the Lord. He makes it hard for us to show Christ to the world by taking over and overwhelming our minds. Yet, I’ve noticed that regardless of our race, religion, age, background, or circumstances, we all long for peace. We want our children to be at peace with their friends, we want peaceful relationships with people we know, we would rather be in peaceful atmospheres rather than confrontational, volatile ones. It’s in our nature to want things to be calm, quiet, and peaceful. Our hearts cry out for peace. We long for peace with our Maker.

It's time to tell the true story. With the Holy Spirit, through Jesus, and because of God I have a story to tell and it's true. I can’t lie about it, because God saw every inch of what I was going through, when I was busy leaving Him. It’s my story. It's the story about where I've been, what I've done, and how I let God down. But, it doesn't end there. It's also the true story about how He raised me back up again despite who I was, in spite of who I am. Our God is alive and He desires for all of His children to have peace.

No matter who you are there will be times when you feel more emotional than usual, but your emotions don't have to draw you away from God. Just because we cannot control our feelings, doesn’t mean we cannot control the decisions we make. God has given us the option to choose Him, or choose the evil of this world. Choose God and watch the pages of your story unfold. Only you can tell your story the way you tell it. When I realized being honest with myself was the sign of maturity and not weakness, the bad I was thinking about myself was replaced with the good that God always thought about me!

Has God rescued you from yourself lately? Were you ever so emotionally torn that you’d lost your identity in Christ? Have you found the peace of the Father (Philippians 4:6-7) or are you still worrying about something? What is your true story?

Melanie Joyce Johnson

A Wreck © 2010 Melanie Joyce Johnson

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  1. You were speaking right to me. I'm touched by this message. God I seek your peace. Lord thank you for this message, I needed it today in my life. Pray for me please. I'm thankful for this ministry.

    1. Praying that God lead you to his Peace, not as the world giveth, (St. John 14:27) but the comfort you need in your life to carry you through your struggles and to do his will.

  2. What is my true story? Start with a long, platinum hair color little girl. One that Satan knew from the time she was born. One that scared him so much that he felt he had to attack early on. She and her siblings were abandoned by their mom. Dad was working out of town so they were on their own. Her big sis tried so hard to keep the family going but people saw and people told the ones in authority about the kids with no parents. When dad was finally found he put out the word…”can’t take care of them. You want kid, let’s talk to a lawyer.” The kids were split up, given new families. Some were given new names.
    Satan was angered more as it seemed she had a good thing going now so he worked his wilds and her new parents became angry at the piano player at the church they were attending. The family quit going and satan was happy. As time passed, the parents started drinking, drinking too much. There was anger in them. There was punishment too strong, too much, and too painful. There was abuse by the tongue which satan knew was sharper than a two edge sword. The evil one was happy. His plan was working She felt small, of no value to anyone. She felt unloved. But he wasn’t through yet. He made sure an evil man was placed in her path. He stole her innocence; he stole what was left of her self-worth. In his mind , his work was done.
    But the good news is that God’s work was not done. A gentle soul loved her and took her from the town. Another soul caressed her with the words of God telling her she was worthy. She listened. She learned of His unending love and she claimed Him as her own. She grew over time and although she didn’t really know it at the time but God was helping hr to use the hurts from her childhood to heal her unseen wounds. She loved 14 foster children and adopted two precious boys. She worked on buses that rolled out three times a week loving children, showing them the love she had been shown. She had cooked many meals from n early age and He placed opportunities in front of her to grow that talent. She cooked for the masses more than a few times. She was able to be a missionary cooking and spreading His love afar. He settled her fears and although she had been made fun of for thinking she had a pleasant voice, He showed her how to praise Him with no regrets or shame.
    He lead her besides the still water…He restored her soul. He showed her the path of righteousness. When she was scared, He led her through the deep valleys He took away her fear. He sent comfort and her cup overflowed the top. He showed her grace and forgave her so she could show grace and forgive also. She knows she lives in His word. She knows there is an everlasting life with Him. He loved her every day, every minute, every hour and she is brand new every day. The hidden scars may be there still but she has learned that she doesn’t have to listen to their sting. She is content with her Lord and hr Savior.
    The evil one wants to stop us from being whole in the Lord. Sometimes he wins at this task with people. “As for this household, We will serve the Lord” Satan has lost his life long ball to try and claim me. I am the King’s kid. I am His precious child. I will be forever known as Christ’s servant and for this I give thanks now and always.

    Susan White

  3. Dear Melanie,

    I have been struggling so much lately and this message came right on time. You can't even know how much I needed this. I was reading through scriptures and doubting that I could be forgiven, restored (Hebrews 6:4-6). But, I prayed and talked with my mother, a member of the body, among some other church family, and we talked about the Prodigal Son. I am still praying hard for that peace that passeth all understanding and a complete restoration to my Lord and Savior. I had felt alone in these feelings, but after reading this I no longer feel so lost. Thank you for sharing this. Please keep me in prayer as I will you and this ministry.

    All my love,


  4. Although we may not know you by name (Anonymous), We are praying for you that you will find the peace that you seek. God is just one call away and He is ready to talk to you. We are so thankful that you are being blessed by this ministry as we are doing our best to allow God to keep using us! Thank you and continue to stay strong in Him!

    Susan and Quesjanee, thank you so much for sharing your stories! God sure knows how to bring the right word at just the right time into our lives; and we are so thankful that this post reminds you of His forgiveness and love and that it is bringing you to a deeper relationship with and reconciliation back to God. Obviously, He has heard your prayers and is waiting on you all to keep moving towards Him....just know that we are praying with and for you every step of the way! Stay Strong ladies!

  5. Good morning Fam.
    I sooooooooooo needed to hear this this morning when I woke up and read it!. This was me and this blessed me forgetting about who I really was and the confidence I have in him...thank you so much for a blessed read. Continue to have a great day!


  6. Thank You ! Just Beautiful! I Truly saw Myself in this message. Thank You Melanie and Shanita!!!!!!! Thank you for Being so inspiring to me, for encouraging me, loving me as a brother and friend. Thank you and Thank God for the both of you in my life!!!

    Love you both

  7. Enjoyed your story on Wednesday, very inspiring and meaningful, Thank You. I can definitely relate, you spoke 4 so many. May GOD continue to Bless and guide your path.

  8. Nedra, Guy, and Elaine:

    Thank you so much for your love, support, and the kind words shared. It is my prayer that you all were not only touched by the article and by S.W.A.P., but that you were challenged to make changes for the better and encouraged to seek God during the difficult times.

    Continue to share with us and we will endeavor to bring more God inspired words! Love you all!

  9. Melanie & Susan, I love the way you shared your stories! They are powerful and help me to start developing the story God wants me to share with others. I understand being renewed, only to be beat down over and over again, largely because of my own choices! I understand, but understanding only can take me so far, the rest of the way I had and will need to be carried by God.

    1. Thank you for sharing with us, as we're sure it took honesty in looking at yourself and admitting you too have been beat down over and over again. It is comforting to know that we all have gone through something (whether brought on by self or others) that the Lord has brought us out of. He will continue to carry you through it as you develop your story!


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